Prune to Bloom! Life Editing Services or My Dream Job

I'm going to jump right in here. In January's post I declared that I had found my purpose in life as an editor and then left my audience with a bit of a cliff hanger. You can let go now. I'll catch you :)

While searching for images I was reminded that there are different levels of pruning: superficial deadheading, surgical dead/diseased/crossing branches removal, and hard cutting back including suckers. 

In life deadheading is getting rid of the blooms that are spent after serving their purpose. You remove dead or diseased areas to maintain the overall health of the plant. Removing branches that are crossed and/or touching prevents harm to the plant. Suckers are offshoots from the roots that are non-producers and just take up resources. These freeloaders are also removed. And in the spring you cut back to the main stems to make ample room for new growth while maintaining a pleasing shape to the overall plant.

All of these pruning methods can be applied to life as well as rose bushes. You can think of any area but I find the easiest example (as well as my favorite) in the closet, literally.

Picture a wardrobe, perhaps your own. Imagine a very full closet with lots of items just waiting to be worn. But the space is packed to the brim which makes choosing an outfit a daunting task if what you really want to wear is anywhere beyond the first couple of layers of clean laundry. So you end up wearing the same things over and over simply because you can't reach the other options easily.

Or perhaps the closet isn't so tightly packed but you still feel overwhelmed by too many options so you still end up wearing the same things over and over again because that feels easy and safe.

And finally perhaps you have a curated closet of items that all are beautiful and waiting to be worn but you feel stymied when it comes to actually putting outfits together because you're afraid of "doing it wrong".

Do any of these feel like they are blooming?

No. To me blooming looks more like this: A well-organized space that is functional yet beautiful because everything is in harmony which also makes the process of dressing efficient and effortless. This space is full of confidence and purpose.

To achieve such a dream closet does not require more agonizing visits to a dressing room or more money spent on clothes that will only add to the mess rather than filling a void to answer the question of "what to wear".

So here's my pitch. If you dream of making the best use of your closet so that you can feel and look your best, then you simply need to follow my PRUNE method.

The idea is to take a mess, take it all out, do a hardcore sorting session, then reorganize in such a way that future maintenance should be effortless.

I'll be the first to admit that this process is not easy. You end up swimming through a mess for a while. It can take hours or days depending on your clothing volume and the time you have to commit to it. I can offer my expert services to help speed things along. I have a keen eye and a DYT background to help create an ideal wardrobe from the items already in your possession. Call me your personal Marie Kondo.

If you are familiar with Marie's work you know that any area can be organized. I'll go ahead and toot my horn to say that I can tackle just about anything. My main areas of work that I have already practiced in my own space are Wardrobes, Interior Design, Landscape Design, and Miscellaneous Organization.

Here on the blog I've already shown my hand in closets (Project 333, A Before and After, The Purge, ). My gardening exploits are here as well. To date I haven't done any interior posts but that's only because my ideas for my own home have been stuck in dream mode but I'm good on paper. It helps that I have taken design classes for interiors and landscapes. As for the misc. category, I've organized my friend's linen closet and junk drawers for fun.

So there's my credentials. This is my dream: to do one-on-one sessions with individuals at the end of their rope, ready for change, tired of dysfunction, needing a light in their tunnel. Granted, my scheduling is a bit limited since I am a mom of four small children with a hard-working teacher for a husband so available time is limited, but I can dream, can't I?

For now I can say that I can offer playdates of assistance, meaning I'll probably be bringing my posse with me but I can make the most of a couple of hours worth of time in the morning. If we're lucky I could throw in an occasional weekend naptime session too. It depends on the area being organized. Perhaps this will be a good summer job for me, but that also depends on my husband's conference schedule.

In the end, this is a dream in which I can fully use my talents as an organizer and life editor. If those skills could be of use to you then let me know and we can see how I can help. At least you have access to my method now.

Personal Endowments: What did the Fairies Give YOU?

   

Fall is just around the corner! And now that the transition back to school has calmed down, I have an opportunity to continue sharing my thoughts with the world. 

Before I wrote my 7 Habits post, I was reading the 7 Habits book and a theme that kept coming up for me was that to fully achieve success with those tools you needed to know what your personal gifts were so you could plan accordingly to put them into play effectively. This goes hand in hand with Energy Profiling for me because knowing what your gifts/talents are is part of knowing your own personality inside and out. This circles back to Covey's work of adding an 8th Habit: Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs. Strangely, this isn't found on the main Habit website, but it does have its own book which is on my reading list so we will probably discuss it more in the future. 

This post goes with the first part of finding my own voice. Pulling from Energy Profiling and knowing that I am a dominant Type 4 with a secondary Type 2 I have a good base knowledge of what makes me tick, but to boil it down to what my cores gifts are, I connected with my childhood. 

So, apparently I am a member of the "Millennial" group. Being born in 1991, I am on the cusp between Gen Y and Gen Z. I prefer to think on my "generation" as the Disney Generation because we grew up with all the classics... on VHS mostly.

One of my favorites was Sleeping Beauty. (Team Blue!) Gotta love those fairies. They are the true stars of the show, at least in my opinion. I've always been fascinated by the gifts they give baby Aurora. I think all of us budding Disney Princesses want the gifts of Beauty and Song; we all love to dress up and sing along.

My burning question has always been, "What was Merryweather's original gift going to be?" We will never know.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has wondered what gifts I would've received in Aurora's place. Being LDS I didn't think I'd have to wonder about that after I received my Patriarchal Blessing. This is a special Priesthood blessing you can receive as a youth and I got mine as soon as I could. I was very eager to have this road map to my life that was supposed to tell me more about myself.

In reading through it again, I'm actually surprised how many times the word "gift" is used. But the part that has stuck in my mind since I received this blessing at age 14 is, "There are many gifts and talents which you may not have yet discovered." I was told to seek out and develop these other talents in order to fulfill my potential.

It's been a solid twelve years since I first heard those words. So what have I discovered about my talents? I have found some of them have a parallel to the three Good Fairies and the gifts they gave Aurora.

Flora is the leader of the group and gave the gift of Beauty. Fauna is the glue and gave the gift of Song. Merryweather is the go-getter/problem solver and gave the formula for breaking Maleficent's curse. This is the original order of the gifts but my parallel is in a slightly different order of priority.

For me Fauna comes first. The gift of Song matches my overarching gift of Harmony. My favorite definition of Harmony is, "the quality of forming a pleasing and consistent whole". Harmony is my watchword, what I look for in every aspect of my life. It is also what I try to create in various forms. Harmony is my vision of life in one word. I expanded upon that in my Mission Statement post last month.

Merryweather was able to think on her feet and come up with a plan to break the curse. Planning is my next gift. Planning is how I work to create Harmony. Planning can also be thought of as Organizing which I am really good at. I like to think that my house seems clean (Harmonious) because it is Organized as far as things are within their correct boundaries. I'm not super OCD. My sense of Harmony allows for my house to feel "lived in" (slightly messy because i have three small kids) thing as long as things are generally in the right area.

Flora gave the gift of Beauty. I make things beautiful (Harmonious) by being able to effectively implement my Organization (Planning) with Authority. Mmm... Authority. As a T4, Authority is a big thing in my world. I prefer to either have the Authority or be able to respect others who have it over me. Mostly I just like having it. Being a more "mature" personality, Authority comes quite easily to me. I'm able to stand in front of a group of people and take charge. Prime example: I may be the youngest Cubmaster ever... maybe. (Do the math, I gave you my birth year already.) It was actually a relief to be officially called because I had felt like an impostor being the acting Cubmaster for about a month and not feeling like I really had the Authority I was trying to wield in keeping our Cub Scout Pack running.

It's fun seeing how my three gifts interact in almost every aspect of my life. I could go on and on giving you examples, but I think maybe you can just go read more of my posts and you'll be able to see them for yourself.

I'll just close with a visual metaphor of how I see my gifts make up a the best parts of me. I found that an umbrella made a good match for what I had in mind. I labelled it, but here's a walk-through. Harmony is the canopy that does the actual job of the umbrella of keeping you covered and safe from the elements. It's also the part that you see as a possible fashion statement. But the canopy can't function without the underpinnings of the shaft and ribs. That structure is my Planning portion. Now, the traditional umbrella is one you have to manually push up, but the one I have has a button in the handle that does the popping for you. The pop is the action that moves the structure to accomplish the task of the umbrella. Just so, my Authority moves the Planning into fruition to create Harmony.

Now for the second half of the Habit. I hope I have inspired you to think about your gifts. Yours may not coalesce into an umbrella metaphor, but that's kind of the point; we can't all be umbrellas and we're not supposed to be all the same.

I'd love it if you'd share your gifted metaphors once you have them figured out.

Something is Different!

Happy Birthday to Me! In honor of my 25th birthday I made a big change.

I've actually been looking forward to this for about two years. That's about how long I've known about Dressing Your Truth. This is not a total coincidence. Part of having my own DYT course is having a personalized Fashion 101 class, basically. The Type 4 course provides guidelines for what will look best on my Type 4 body to match and express my Type 4 personality in a beautiful way.

These guidelines are actually quite thorough. Everything including clothing, makeup, accessories, and hair are seen in terms of design line, texture, fabrication, pattern, and color and many examples are shown. Now, all Types can have long or short hair. I've had long hair for most of my life. I've even cut and donated it a couple of times. But I'd never gone this short. After DYT, I had the confidence and knowledge to know that I really could do a pixie cut.

So two years ago, I decided that I wanted to give it a try when I turned 25.

Unfortunately, the place I went to get my hair done doesn't have WiFi (weird, I know), so I wasn't able to show them the Pintrest picture of the exact cut I wanted, so I'm not fully in love with the details of the cut that I got. Fortunately I am very familiar with the fact that hair grows and I can get it fixed in a couple of months. Here is the picture of what I really wanted:

Gorgeous, right? The cut, not the color. Sorry, but I don't think I'll ever go blonde. I did however also die my hair when I got it cut. I went darker to an ash-based brown a couple of shades darker than my natural brunette and I LOVE it!!

For such a big change, I've only gotten positive feedback. My babies didn't freak out. Charles didn't really care other than he was happy that I was happy. And everyone else has been really supportive as well. All the compliments are right on point with what I was going for.

The whole point behind changing my look was to turn up the dial on my Type 4-ness and the compliments I've gotten just prove that I got it right. Each Type has a list of great descriptive words and you'd think that people were just reading off my list. my favorites have been, "Chic" and "Stunning". Stunning is actually the "Beauty Code Word" for Type 4 as a whole.

Another reaction I got a lot at the beginning was remarks at how brave I was for going through with such a big change. I don't feel like "brave" is the right word. I feel that I've been "bold" (another T4 word). I think that is the power of the empowerment of the Dressing Your Truth program. They give you all the guidelines and then you are left to follow your (more informed) "Beauty Sixth Sense" in creating your own style.

I don't think you should have to be "brave" to live and dress your truth. That makes it sound that most people are in fact scared to do so. Admittedly, I know that without the DYT program most people are left to guess their truth in a world that doesn't give us great tools to navigate a trend-driven fashion industry. That's why I'm so passionate about sharing this "makeover system" that goes far beyond just the surface appearance.

Currently there is a very exciting sale going on. Until Nov. 22 the courses for all 4 courses are being sold as a bundle for only $100. What an investment! Please use my link to get registered and start learning what Type you are before you buy it so I can get some referral benefits. I'm here if you have any questions or if you want a closet makeover. I'm particularly gifted in being able to sort clothes by Type.

I want everyone to feel empowered to look amazing in their own special way.

My Top 5 Favorite Parenting Resources

Motherhood is hard. We are all agreed on this. But there are ways to make it a little easier. Tips to have at hand so we feel like we know what we are doing...at least some of the time.

When it's just me and the boys I can get plenty self-conscious about my parenting abilities, like anyone else, but then I occasionally go out in public and realize that it could be a lot worse.

I have several sources I turn to that help me feel like I have it together...most of the time, actually.

So, what I offer today are my secrets, or at least the sources of my secrets in the hope that it will help and inspire all you other wonderful mothers who have not discovered these wonderful books. It is my wish that you may find something here to help you be a better parent today.

 

1. The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp

This is a great starting point, whether you are expecting your first or your last or simply have need of skills to soothe crying babies in what ever setting you may be in.

I read this book as a "textbook" for an Infants and Toddlers class I took in my last semester of BYU-I before I had a baby and graduated. I felt like a pro-Momma with this under my belt before Jon was born. We still had our learning curve when it came to breastfeeding and dealing with cloth diapers, but I could swaddle like a champ.

Dr. Karp's premise with this book is that human babies need a "fourth trimester". Other animal babies come out and walk and "talk" right away. Our babies get pushed out before their heads get too big, ideally. That certainly doesn't mean that they are ready to take on the big, wide world all at once. So, Dr. Karp introduces his "5S's" to simulate conditions from within in the womb to help soothe the baby when outside of the womb to help with the transition.

These work people. So much so that I had people wonder if my baby ever cried because it sure seemed like he never did out in public.

To be brief, the 5 S's are Swaddling, Side-lying, Shushing, Swinging, and Sucking. When I was using these "in the trenches", as it were, like trying to get a newborn to sleep when they have other ideas, I'd have them swaddled, laying on their side on my knees so I could lean over them and make ocean sounds right into their ear while my knees did the swinging, and they sucked on my thumb. (My babies preferred the taste of me over plastic, so we didn't really use binkies at all.) To be fair, this was still a test in patience because it may have still taken a good 15 minutes for them to really fall asleep, but (eventually) fall asleep they did.

2. The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp

It of course makes sense that when I saw this sequel at a book swap, I was sure to grab it. I just finished reading it, to be honest, but I use this everyday and more so on Sundays as a Nursery leader. (It's probably why I haven't been released yet.)

In here, Dr. Karp lovingly calls toddlers "cavemen" and explains that parents have to act as diplomats of the current century. This involves connecting with respect and using "Toddler-ese" to help prevent tantrums or lovingly stop them in their tracks.

My favorite tip was the "Fast Food Rule" (or FFR) for communicating with little ones. He calls it this to bring to mind how the person taking your order at a fast food restaurant repeats your order back to you before they tell you your total price.

The FFR has two parts: First, whoever is most upset (usually the toddler, but this works in "grown-up" situations as well) talks first; the other person listens, repeats back what they are told, and only then do they take their turn to talk. The second part uses "Toddler-ese", tone of voice, and mimicked emotion to hit the toddlers "sweet spot" to get their attention and let them know that you understand how they feel. That part is key because when a toddler is upset they are feeling more that thinking so just trying to be rational with them first is not going to work.

I still have troubles with playing up the emotional part of the FFR (thank my T4 for that) but using short, repetitive sentences (the Toddler-ese in a nutshell) with some reflected feeling really works.

Dr. Karp also mentions knowing your child's temperament and realizing you may have a personality mismatch and that does right into my favorite tools.

 

3. The Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle 

Now, I'll be honest: I haven't fully read this book yet, but I already have a thorough working knowledge of Carol's Energy Profiling System through Dressing Your Truth. So I still feel like a "child whisperer" with what I have to go on.

Knowing the Types of my children has been such a blessing. I know Jon is a T2 so I know that when he gets upset he will probably cry and need hugs to calm down. If I didn't know David was a T1 our breastfeeding experience would have been more frustrating for me with how easily distracted he can be. As is, I feed him where it is quiet and just enjoy his smiles when he unlatches for a moment here or there because he wants to tell me he loves me with his eyes .

I look forward to using my knowledge with future children and I feel confident that I can handle all the Types in my children as they come around.

 

4. The Child Whisperer Podcast by Carol Tuttle

Until I do finish reading the book, I can gain more insight from Carol's podcast of the same name.

(Note: The link shows the podcast through iTunes but I'm pretty sure I've been able to kind it through other podcast listening apps.)

I enjoy listening to podcasts while I do household chores, and I'm up-to-date on all my other podcasts, so while I wait for new episodes I listen to Carol Tuttle.

With access to the full archive of her material, even from before it was The Child Whisperer Show, I've been able to get more of the nuanced flavors of the Types from Carol's content as well as when she takes live callers and answers their questions.


My favorite episodes so far (go through the above link) are "How to Parent True to Your Nature", "Is your perception of your children hurting them?", and "How do you measure your success as a parent?".

 

5. Dressing Your Truth by Carol Tuttle 

I find where Energy Profiling is concerned, it's a bit like the oxygen masks on an airplane: you put yours on first before you help whoever is near you. Meaning, it's a bit hard to parent true to your Type if you don't know your Type.

Knowing my Type and dressing my truth does make me a better mom because I feel better in my own skin. It goes with the saying of "If mom's not happy then no one's happy." Conversely, when mom's happy everyone is happier. Dressing my truth makes me a happier person because I know myself, I know my tendencies and how to manage them, and I know how to make the most of my personal gifts.

With this knowledge I am bien dans ma peau. This is a knowledge I feel that everyone should have. I truly believe this would make us happier as a people and (possibly) lead to world peace. Who knows? We can dream big.

World peace aside, I'd settle for happier families to start with.

I hope you find these resources as useful as I have in becoming a better parent.